Do you ever imagine that a different job would bring you more fulfillment and significance? 

I used to think this frequently.

And what I found was this thought led to a feeling that dried up my creativity and enjoyment of the projects right in front of me. After all, the logic goes, there's something much better than this for you. It's never good enough. 

I began to separate from feeling good, from my strengths, and, to my great horror, from other people.

Then I felt bad and I didn't like that. So to make sense out of the situation, I attempted to find a "bad guy" - a perpetrator whose fault it was. 

I took to contempt of others, and the situation. And sometimes, and this is what triggered my quasi heart attack years ago, I took that contempt out on myself. 

Contempt, after all is one of the few emotions strong enough to cover shame. 

And the cycling through began - others, situation, and self - disgust, blame, and shame.

What about feeling good? Gone. 

What about compassion - for others and for self? Gone. 

What about seeing the bigger and broader picture? Gone. 

Disengaged my prefrontal cortex and hello amygdala. Most everything became a threat of some sort - even me. Talk about hell. 

What's my view on finding a different job out there that would bring me more fulfillment and significance now? 

I believe that I bring my own sense of significance to whatever it is that I do. 

And when I attempt to look at my life and career through lenses bigger than my own from a place of safety, I can begin to integrate every experience - pros and cons - into a bigger and broader story.

One that moves upward and is expansive. One that is full of freedom and ease. One that rings much more true.

That is significant. That is fulfilling. To me.

What about you?